Accountability, Ugly Truths & Breaking Patterns: What This Season Is Really Teaching Me

One thing I’ve learned about myself as I grow this business is that I function best when I plan ahead. That’s why my blogs are always scheduled well in advance, not because I’m “so organized,” but because life is unpredictable. I never know when things will get busy, emotional, or overwhelming. And even with the small audience I have right now, I want to show up for them consistently.

Showing up is part of the journey.

Showing up is part of the healing.

And honestly?

Showing up keeps me accountable to myself.

The Hardest Part of Starting a Business Isn’t the Work — It’s the Accountability

It is so, so easy in the beginning to convince yourself:

• “Maybe this isn’t for me.”

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “I’ll try again later.”

Especially when life throws curveballs.

Especially when you feel alone.

Especially when you don’t have the validation you want from the people closest to you.

In my last two blogs, I talked about my mom being in the hospital. That experience, and everything November brought and the forced a mindset shift I didn’t expect. I finally started breaking patterns I didn’t even realize I was carrying.

And let me be honest:

People talk about positivity like it’s a magic spell.

Just “think good thoughts.”

Just “manifest happy things.”

Just “raise your vibration.”

Yeah… NO... F*** you!

Sometimes you want to scream!

Sometimes you want to slam a door!

Sometimes the world can seriously fuck all the way off!

And pretending you’re okay doesn’t heal anything.

You Have To Look at the Ugly Parts

This year, I decided to actually sit with the uncomfortable pieces... the real patterns that keep me stuck.

The avoidant tendencies.

The money fears.

The validation-seeking.

The habit of shrinking my ideas before they even have time to grow.

And this is where my mom becomes the mirror.

Moms know exactly how to get under your skin. They’ve seen every version of you. They recognize your patterns before you do. And sometimes what they reflect back is uncomfortable... especially when you’re trying to grow!

My mom has always told me:

“You’re always talking about new ideas… but you never follow through.”

And that HURTSSSS!

Not because she was wrong.... but because she was RIGHT!

Why Sharing Your Dreams Too Early Can Derail Them

I realized something important this year:

When I share my ideas too early, I’m really looking for my parents’ validation.

And that opens the door for them to project fears, doubt, or “logic” onto something that my intuition already knew was meant for me.

My friend Jojo is going through the same thing. We had a whole conversation about it, how sharing too soon can actually crush the excitement. Our parents don’t mean harm. But their reactions can derail something delicate, something still growing.

So now?

I keep things quiet while they’re in creation mode.I let the idea unfold.I move silently until I have something to show.

And when I do show my mom the finished result, her energy shifts:

“Wow… you really did this.”

The cycle changes.

Her support grows.

But most importantly — my self-trust grows.

Breaking that pattern has been HUGE.

Accountability Is No One’s Job But Your Own!

I love community, and the VALA community has been a massive support system.

But no matter how many mentors, friends, or subscribers you have…

At the end of the day, accountability comes down to YOU!

If you can’t keep promises to yourself, your dream will always feel out of reach.

And if you aren’t holding yourself accountable?

It’s not because you’re lazy.

It’s not because you’re not meant for this.

It means there is something deeper to look at...

A wound.

A fear.

A belief.

A pattern.

An old version of you that still tries to run the show.

And facing that is uncomfortable as HELL... but necessary.

The Money Patterns I’m Finally Breaking

Let’s talk money because… whew.

I have had some rough money habits.

Avoidance.

Fear.

Impulse decisions.

Emotional spending.

And you know what’s funny?

The book The Witch’s Way to Wealth by Jesse DaSilva, didn’t just teach about abundance, it forced me to confront the ugly truth behind why I do what I do financially.

Am I proud of everything I’ve done?

HELLLLLL NO!

Am I finally looking at it with honesty?

Yes... even when it makes me cringe.

And here’s the wild part:

Getting real about my money patterns created space for my mindset to shift……which created space for five new clients to come into my life in two weeks.

Human Design & the Power of Waiting

As a Manifesting Generator with an Emotional Authority, I learned something essential:

I cannot make decisions in the moment.

If I say “yes” out of excitement, 80% of the time it’s not aligned.

Now I give myself:

• time

• space

• journaling

• meditation

• a next-day gut check

And ever since I started doing that, my financial decisions have been so much healthier.

Example: There was this sale to buy a course with HeyClients, as much as I want to learn this CRM system, I do not have $500 to spend on a course. (..but Cora! It's for my future.)

Well let me tell... my new client has this software and I am learning on it for FREE!

Moral of this story?

My gut was not 100% percent in! She knew what was waiting for me, and I LISTEN!

I’m Not Perfect... I’m In Progress

I’m still in a little debt.I’m still building my savings.I’m still learning discipline.I’m still rewiring patterns around money, consistency, and self-trust.

But I’m no longer ignoring these things.

December is my month of finally re-sitting down with my finances, my habits, and my patterns, without judgment. I want to understand them, not shame myself. Because if I can understand them, I can change them. If I change them in the beginning of January 2025, I can re-do it now that I understand my patterns.

And I know I’m stepping into a new version of myself.

The version that hits 5K months.

The version that honors her money.

The version that stays accountable even when life gets chaotic.

The version that creates without needing permission.

I’m excited for what’s coming, and I’m ready for it this!

Your Bilingual VA,

P.S.

For anyone curious about the book or ready to dive deeper into manifestation with her, here’s my Amazon affiliate link: Dive deeper by reading The Witch's Way to Wealth . High Key recommend lol!

By purchasing through my link, you’re supporting my journey while exploring your own path to abundance. 🤍